I Should Be Dead By Now by Dennis Rodman

Author:Dennis Rodman
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Skyhorse Publishing
Published: 2012-12-31T16:00:00+00:00

Reality Check: Don’t drink and do reality shows.

Following the intervention, ESPN cornered Darren in the back of an Aladdin Hotel limo for a parting comment.

“This is it, there’s no turning back at this point,” he said. “Either he’s gonna make it, or the guy’s gonna be dead in a couple of years.”

Nah. It never would have gone that far—not that I wasn’t out there. But as I said in that raving drunk scene at Josh Slocum’s, I knew exactly what I was doing. I always knew when the time came I could reel it back in, bring myself back to what I call my “safe place.” I’ve always been able to do that. I just never wanted to do it before. But it was there waiting. And I’ve always gone there when I needed to get my shit together.

People have always thought I was just this train wreck, this fucking devil running wild, you know? It was never like that. The partying was something I let happen. I created it. I could have stopped it at any time, but I didn’t. I wanted to see how far I could take the roller coaster before it came to a dead end. People thought my dead end was the motorcycle accident at Treasures or my ass-showing antics at the Radio Music Awards. But it was more than that. It was like my whole life culminated into one big foot that hit the brakes. It wasn’t just one thing. It was a lot of things.

As for the partying, I was just over it. I was tired of drinking. Tired of women. Tired of setting up my table, getting my troops together. Bored with it. Like on my last birthday, everybody was like, “Hey, let’s go party!”

I went, “Well, okay, all right. If I have to. You twist my arm.” It was routine, you know?

So I went to my safe place. A place where no one can hurt you. No one can bother you. It’s like going to the Garden of Eden. I go there to be peaceful and humble, and think things through. I knew I needed to get my shit together. I needed to do this. I needed to do that. I could see I was partying and drinking to bypass all the heartache and pain I suffered in life. And I realized whether it was problems with my fucked-up family, my kids, my career, or my love life, I had to find a new way of dealing with it. The liquor, the partying, the women weren’t working any more.

So I took the pill, the Antabuse, not that it was totally voluntary. There was the court order—or at least that’s what they told me.

“I literally, literally, put that thing in his mouth every day for months,” said Wendell. “I drove from L.A. to Orange County every day to give him his pill.”

I found out while working on this book that Darren, Thaer, Wendell, and my lawyer had conspired against me.

“Because of the Treasures thing, me, Darren, and the lawyer,” said Thaer, “we completely lied to him.

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